When did I stop being myself? Astrology and the fracturing of the essential self
As babies, we all come into this life with a powerful desire to bond—to be truly seen and loved by our caregivers and the people around us. Each of us is born with a divine spark and a perfectly unique combination of traits meant to offer something essential to the world. When we are born into families with good enough caretakers, we grow up in a container where we feel safe, seen, and understood for who we are. Even in the face of external chaos, that inner security acts as a home base—a psychological anchor. But not everyone gets this kind of start.
Due to emotional wounding, generational trauma, societal upheaval (like poverty, war, or systemic oppression), or life-altering experiences such as addiction, mental illness, grief, divorce, or caregiver burnout, many children grow up without that secure base. Even well-intentioned caregivers can pass down unconscious patterns they’ve been unable to break. And when a child senses—whether subtly or overtly—that their essential way of being is wrong, too much, or not welcome… something fractures.
📷 Photo by Denny Müller on Unsplash
The Birth Chart as a Map of Fracture and Wholeness
As we begin to explore the birth chart through the lens of shadow work and inner child healing, we can see where this fracturing may have occurred. The chart becomes a symbolic map of both our essence—and the parts of it we’ve had to bury.
Key placements that often reveal shadow material include:
- The water houses (4th, 8th, 12th)
- Personal planets like the Sun and Moon in aspect to Saturn or the outer planets (Uranus, Neptune, Pluto)
- Chiron, Eris, or a strong Lilith signature
- Charts with many hard aspects (squares, oppositions)
- The IC (Imum Coeli) and Descendant—two hidden angles that often reveal ancestral and relational shadow themes
For example:
- A challenging planet on the IC, the cusp of the 4th house tied to family and roots, may suggest that the emotional “water” you swam in was turbulent.
- On the Descendant, we may project parts of our shadow onto others—especially in close relationships. What we most crave, and what we most judge, may both be reflections of our disowned traits.
Even seemingly “easy” charts (with lots of trines and sextiles) are not immune. Transits from outer planets will always stir what’s hidden.
What Is the Shadow?
First coined by Swiss psychologist Carl Jung, the shadow refers to the unconscious and repressed parts of the personality. These traits are often judged as negative, dangerous, or unlovable—by society, family, or our inner narrative.
The ego develops as a mask we wear to adapt and survive. Over time, our shadow self—the inner child, the wild instinct, the unfiltered truth—is pushed further underground.
Eventually, though, we must come back for it.
Shadow integration is not about fixing ourselves—it’s about becoming whole. Whether through therapy, archetypal exploration, astrology, or somatic healing, the journey back to our shadow is the journey back to authenticity.
Starting Your Shadow Work Journey
If you’re just beginning your shadow work journey, go gently. Be patient. Bringing repressed material to the surface can feel overwhelming or even retraumatizing. You’re revisiting parts of yourself your psyche buried for good reason.
But here’s the truth: you’re not who you were then. You’re stronger now. More capable. And so brave to take this step.
While astrology and archetypal systems are potent tools for deep healing, I strongly encourage partnering with a licensed mental health professional—especially if you’re working through trauma.
Through this blog, we’ll explore these shadow pieces together. We’ll examine the intersections of:
- Ancestral astrology and generational patterns
- Dark goddess archetypes as portals of feminine power
- The Hero’s Journey through the lens of the birth chart
- And ways to ritualize your return to wholeness
Start Here: Shadow Work Journal Prompt
Begin your process with this powerful question:
“When did I stop being myself?”
Write whatever comes up. This is for you and you alone.
Underworld Astrology 
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